Field
by Night Of The Land
Summary: Auggie jones for field work.


Title: Field

Author: Night of the Land

Category: Covert Affairs

Disclaimer: Don't own

Rating: K+

Summary: Auggie jones for field work.

A/N: So was anyone else completely heart broken by the sight of poor Auggie left in the hallway after being berated by Joan? I know I was. I can understand where he is coming from, I get it completely, and my heart aches for this character, and his struggles. So this is what popped into my mind, to give a little insight into his thoughts during the scene when he talks about his envy of Annie and her ability to do field work.

* * *

They rounded the corner, Auggie's hand clasped gently on Joan's elbow. There was a slight spring in his step and he tried to fight the smile that threatened to split his face. He had missed this, the feeling of being useful, the ability to do something good, to be out of the office.

"He sat there for twenty minutes, after she left. No phone calls, no text, I would have heard. Didn't say anything to anyone." He told them, as Joan lead him down the hall way, Annie keeping up with their brisk pace next to Joan, the scent of Annie's Perfume battle with Joan's. Two completely different scents, for two women who were so much alike.

"I think he's clean." Annie said, her voice filled with her conviction that yes Diego was clean.

"Or very careful." Joan corrected her, her voice just as hard as it always was the seriousness always there.

He felt her turn slightly to give him what he was sure a disapproving look, "And that still doesn't explain what you were doing out in the field with Annie." She said, her tone softening slightly, as it always did when she spoke to him. He knew that ever since… well, he didn't want to think of it, but Joan had taken him under her wing, and she was like his mother, sister and best friend all rolled into one.

Auggie felt heat flare up on the back of his neck as he fought to keep his voice calm and his anger down. "I ran in to her at the game." He said, voice pitched just loud enough for Joan to hear it, but he knew there was no fooling her.

He heard Joan's skepticism in her voice, "Suddenly you're a fan of intramural soccer?" she asked.

"Only on Sundays, and just for the past few weeks," he said a smirk in his voice. He knew what was coming; he knew what was always coming after he went into the field. The Lecture, as he had deemed it. But he couldn't help but smile. After nearly five years, it had felt good. He had felt like he could do something worthwhile again.

"How many times do we have to go over this? You are not sanctioned for field duty, not anymore." She said her voice soft but still authoritative, as she gently touched his arm, "I can't afford to lose you, okay? I need you here." She pated his arm gently, and he felt his smile slip from his face, "Time to move on."

He felt the old pain creep back, as he heard her walk away, calling Annie to follow. He could have almost felt the looks from the slightly younger woman as she followed their boss, and he hated it. He never could stand the pity that he knew was in other's eyes; that he could hear in their voices. He stood for a moment in the hallway, listening as the other members of the DPD hurried about their work, and he suddenly felt like he was simply taking up space.

He heart heavy and his whole body aching from repressed anger and…(what was that?...shame?) he headed back towards his own office, going to let himself get lost in his own work, and try to make it as exciting as field work.

* * *

A few hours later the scent of flowers hit his nose and he lifted his head in the direction of the door. Tiny heels clicked on the floor and he gave an almost inaudible sigh.

"Hello, Joan." He greeted his boss as she came to stand next to him, her hand resting on his shoulder.

"Auggie." She replied, and then hesitated slightly. If Auggie hadn't know the woman so well he would have never noticed the slight quake in her voice, the way her hand gently tightened on his shoulder, or the way she shifted slightly to one side as fought herself about what to say to him.

"It's okay, Joan." He told her before she could speak, "I understand where you are coming from. I get it….but I don't have to like it."

"I know you don't like it, I don't like it either, and if I could I would put you back out in the field, because let's face it, you were my best…" she trailed off, sweeping a motherly hand across his forehead brushing the loose strains of hair from his eyes, "We can't loose you, Auggie, you're too valuable to the Agency, to this department and to me."

Auggie smiled in her general direction, "I know, and I would never dream of hurting you again, like that, after all I owe you." He sighed, and bowed his head, eyes closing, as her hand tightened on his shoulder in comfort.

"It's time to move on, Auggie, it's been almost five years, time to let go of the past, and look to the future." She told him, before giving him an earnest look, "Can you do that for me?"

He gave a tiny laugh, but nodded, "Yes, mother." He groused playfully, calling her the nickname he'd given to her years ago, right after his accident. She had done so much for him, but between his own mother, sister, and her it was like having three mothers. But he would be grateful for their help until the day he died.

She laughed, and swatted the back of his head gently. He smiled; only around him would Joan Campbell ever actually laugh. She gave his shoulder another motherly squeeze and turned on her heel and swept from the room.

* * *

The sun was warm on his face as he leaned against the park bench, talking to Annie. The scent of the freshly cut grass and the smell of the trees and all the others smells from the great outdoors invaded his head, making him smiling into the sun.

"Was that a sigh?" he asked, a laugh clear in his voice and he could almost hear Annie roll her eyes, "Sounded like a sigh, a trouble guilty sigh." He paused and sighed himself before continuing, "This is the business, Annie, it's what we do, fact is, you should be feeling pretty good."

"yeah, well, my shoulder's still sore, my sister can't understand how a car accident would cause me to lose the three hundred dollar carry on she got me for my birthday, and I've got a twenty year old lothario bragging that he spent the night with me in Caracas."

Auggie laughed, slightly and offered a shrug, "Well, aside from that…"

"Aside from that I'm fine." She said, before turning to look at him, "And you shouldn't be here." She told him, her tone taking a mothering quality too it. Auggie gave a mental laugh at that, so what was he up to now? Four women who mothered him?

"Ah," he said, drawing out the word, "Sundays I'm drawn to the sound of the thundering herd, sue me."

He could almost hear Annie shaking her head; "Still if Joan found out….." she trailed off.

"She knows what it's like to jones for field work." He paused again, casting his eyes in her direction, hearing her sigh again, "I think she envies you."

Annie nodded, "I heard she was pretty good." She said, as if trying to picture their boss out in the field.

Auggie returned her nod, "The best…" he said, and he knew what was coming as he heard Annie turn to look at him.

"I bet _you_ were pretty good." She said, a smirk of knowing disbelief in her voice.

Auggie gave her a slightly offended look, "Still am." He corrected, before he smiled, unable to keep the look. And he was still good, damn fine in his opinion, despite his obvious disability. His smile fell as he turned serious again, "And I envy you too."

Annie turned away, a flush heating her face, and Auggie turned away, unfolding his cane, "All that time to move on crap that Joan preaches, I don't buy into it for a second. Every step forward begins with a firmly planted foot in the past." He told her, pushing himself away from the bench, his heart low, and his usually ever present smile gone. He knew what he could and could not do, and it hurt more than it should when he was reminded of his inability to do field work.

A grin split his face as Annie called him back, at least he was still working, at least he still got to be apart of what was going on, even if it was just a little, and despite his desire to be out in the field, there was really do place he'd rather be than in his tech department.


End file.
